Why I don't get involved in extensive, tangled online discussions: a case study

When the method that we use to determine the norms of a community is conflict, then only that subset of the members who can effectively survive the process end up deciding the rules.  The mechanisms that emerge frequently require one to be able to spend enormous amounts of time and undivided attention picking through complex, nuanced and angry arguments, at speed and under fire.  After all, everyone who lasted long enough to agree them has that skillset in common.  That's how they got there.

This is why I like web moderation.  The point is to build a conversation where a thick skin and infinite free time are not required to participate, where...

Aw, nuts, the five year old just barfed all over her bed.

(Text posted unchanged, appropriate title added; I had not expected life to make my point for me so dramatically!)